Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Blind Men and The Elephant

It was Tuesday evening and, as always, six blindfolded men got together to play pin the tale on the donkey. Because that's what people who wear blindfolds do. They made the fatal mistake of coming to the gathering already blindfolded. Because of that mistake, they ended up groping a large elephant. Who, in turn, lied to the blindfolded men by telling them he was a snake and they'd better back off.

The blindfolded men didn't have the first clue where you'd pin a tale on a snake, or the sense to remove their blindfolds, so they backed off.

The End

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Brahman, The Tiger, and The Jackal

This is a tale of money, pity, and hunger, but mostly money.

The Tiger was caught in a cage and asked a passing Brahman to set him free. The Brahman saw no harm in letting a hungry, wild animal lose, so he did as the Tiger asked.

The Tiger was indeed hungry and somewhat of a bully.
"Give me your lunch money." The Tiger demanded. "I'm hungry."
"I have no money." Replied the Brahman. "Where do you think I would carry it? Look what I'm wearing."
"Oh, a wise guy, huh?" Snapped the Tiger.
"Actually, I am a wise guy." Said the Brahman.
"Alright Brahman, I'll make you a deal. You go and beg, borrow, or steal some money, bring it back here and I'll let you go free." Said the Tiger.
So the Brahman went on his way to acquire the funds.

The Brahman first asked a tree, but the tree was broke. Two children were climbing on its limbs and they busted off. What have trees done for people as of late anyway? Nothin' for nobody.

So he asked his friend Bull for some cash. He was named after the bailiff on Night Court. Bull resented the name since it lacked creativity. Bull wished he had been named after more popular characters on other sit-coms, and wouldn't help the Brahman.

He then asked a road for money, and realized that's where you go to get rid of things, not find them.

All the while, Hansel and Gretel were lost and frightened in the forest, but that's not important to this story.

The Brahman then screamed his situation to the Jackal. The Jackal then told the Brahman,"I'll help you get out of this predicament, but it will cost you."
"Well, money is what got me into this mess in the first place." Said the Brahman. "I don't have any money, where do you suppose I'd keep it? Look what I'm wearing."
"I can see you're a wise guy," said the Jackal, "So, I'll do this pro bono."

Soon, the Jackal and the Brahman returned to negotiate with the Tiger.
"Well what do you want?" Inquired the Tiger.
"Don't you know that things in stripes belong in cages?" Queried the Jackal.

The Tiger didn't care for the Jackal's remarks, and figured he'd just eat the Jackal. But the Tiger agreed with the Jackal.

So the Tiger got back in his cage where he belonged, nobody had to pay money to anyone and they were non the wiser.